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| well i havent wrote in along time...i got a new job KFC and i hate it already so i didnt go to work today...sighs to bad to sad.....well i guess me and amac are ok..we talked and laughed and stuff...and no matter what i jsut <3 her....she has been there for me through alot...ross well he is just ross...and i <3 him...but he doesnt <3 me right now...and that hurts but it is my fault....i just wish i could make everything right....i think i might work at wendys which for sum reason i think is cool bc my mom worked there lol...i dunno i dont think im gay anymore im sure im bi but im almost to the completly straight level...im working on it...i went to adams house on 420 and we talked he tried to kiss me he has a uni-brow so i didnt kiss him back...and i havent talked to him since...oh yea prom is in 5 days man 5 holy shit...im hungry...i would love sum fast food but i have to stop i think i can lose like atleast 5 pounds by sat. who know i guess we will see...oh shit man last night me and sam and amac went to rite-aid and damn i was ripped and i stole this thingy and it was like 30 bucks and the fuckn alarm went off so i kept walkn and then i set off amacs car alarm and i had to go back in the fuckn store...isnt that sum bullshit...oh well i didnt get caught thats all that matters...its 10 till 5 and we are supposed to leave @ 5 so ima go ahead and get off of here....gotta call a few people...ok peace out bitches....HD
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| ok.....have you ever just wwanted to change yourself? like not you but you appearance? grrr its hard...well my therapist (i hate saying that) anywhore...that i need to change the way people look at me...bc everyone thinks im a pothead...which i am/was...bc damnit i am going to quit...even if it mean doing nothing but going to skool and work....i really will do it...not for eveyone else but g*damnit for me...i want people to see me for the good person i can be....not saying that potheads are bad people...i just want to find me...with out the drugs...i want my world to revolve around more than oh man lets get high...really i dont even see the point anymore...i mean my buzz just isnt like it was back in the day...now well like here lately every time i have gotten im im like damn why did i do that? but then i find myself being like i should get high....i think before i was just scared...scared that i would lose all my friends....but i have found the greratest group of kids in the world....so now i think im ready to quit bc i can do it i have no reason not to...im back in skool and doing good i work a shit lot and i have been saving $$ like crazi i have a date for prom :) hehe and thngs at home are alot better than they used to be...being friends with A*Mac, Shan, Cass, Ross,and Cory have really just helped in wayz i dont think that even i understand sometimes...those kids are just great...im just so happy and its a great feeling better than any jount could make me feel....thank-you girls and boys for everything....i really dont think they will ever understand how much they have helped me in such a short time...i would honestly do anything in my power for those 5 kids...i probably sound really lame...and i dont even care...im done with sayin oh im going to quit smoking....bc i can and will right now...im done...im going to change how the world views me...so people can no longer say oh shes a pothead...bc damnit there is more to me than that...and i honestly think they are the only 5 that see it... | | |
| well....im waitin on ross and my dad so i can get sum $$ to get sum tanning sessions then its off to the tannign bed....last night was great...me a*mac ross cory justin and jerod all stayed @ shannons...and i got drunk real quick lol...i took like 4 shots of parot bay in like 10 min. and drank a cup of half parot bay half orange soda...mmmm....gotta <3 parot bay...i really wish i would quit letting people down....i mean whats wrong with me? i really want to quit smoking pot....i mean i do but i dont....i know that i need to and that i am letting alot of people down by smoking....last night i smoked with shan and cory....and damn i felt so bad...ross was so mad @ me....and that makes me feel horrible....ross is like the greatest guy in the world....i feel like i disappointed him...and that hurts me....him being mad at me killed my buzz...and im glad for that....i didnt need that buzz....i jsut have been satisfied with just being with my friends sobber....i dont even know why i did it....i dont have an excuse this time...i wish i did....no i dont either....i brought it on myself....i just wish i could explain to ross....i dont think he is mad at me anymore but he should be....i have lied to him once and here i am such a hypocrite (sp) i bitch about trust all the time and here i am lying and breaking ross's trust.....why do i smoke? well ross is here we are going to tan...i gotta go...finish later...HD | | |
| Xanga
umm i have this bc A*Mac suggested it...i really dont have much to right about...im kinda boring lol but i try....ok well ima go....HD | | |
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